That about sums it up for Jen and me right now. We got the bad news this afternoon, and we, like always, are floored. We try to not get our hopes up, but I don't think that is possible. We feel devastated.
We've spent the first hour sitting around the house not really doing anything. We haven't felt much like talking (at least I haven't). So if we haven't called or texted you back, that's why. I know there have been a ton of messages, and it is greatly appreciated.
We eventually got up and had lunch. Jen had a sorely needed Dr Pepper. I also set up the rest of our garden fence to help clear my head. I think it will keep our Pekingese, Drama, out. But, no guarantees about our German Shepherd puppy, Ari. She likes to get in trouble a lot...
We have a consult with Dr H on Thursday morning to discuss what the next steps are. We are 0 for 4 now with IUI and IVF with one more shot left at IVF. I am not sure if Dr H plans to change our approach to things. We will find out then. The good thing is that if this is going to work, it usually is on the second try.
Whatever is decided, we will need to save a little bit for the meds before we can go again. I believe they need Jen to go back on birth control for a couple months to get the timing down. So that could work out well in our favor financially. We could always just charge it, but I would much rather not do that.
If this last attempt does not work, we most likely will change gears and look at adoption. I am guessing this will all depend on what happens with the eggs they extract from the next round. If there are good eggs left over from the 2nd round, we will surely think about trying again or maybe even surrogacy. We haven't given any thought to surrogacy. We will cross these bridges later if we have to.
I know I will (and I'm sure Jen will too) always be wondering what our 3 embryos would have been like if they made it. I am sure they would have been great kids, but they weren't in God's plan. Hopefully, they are put to a better purpose.
Please keep us in your prayers. This is going to be a long next couple of weeks/months. Drinks Friday??? Yes, Please!!!
D
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