This is why...

This blog has been created to give our family and friends an idea of our journey through infertility and the steps we chose to take to make our dream of becoming parents a reality. There may be a few graphic details here and there, along with some fun photos, but most importantly, we wanted to document these events in our lives for our future children and for anyone else who dreams of becoming a parent. Enjoy!

*Anyone who may be interested in us as adoptive parents, please feel free to check out our link at Bethany.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Coping with the wait...

Hi friends and family! This weekend Darryl and I attended a workshop at Bethany to keep up with our certification hours. It was from 9:00am-3:00pm and titled "Coping With the Wait" and "The Secret Struggles of Adoption". I wasn't really looking forward to spending most of my Saturday in a room watching power point presentations but I ended up being pleasantly surprised.
First let me start off by saying that the last few weeks have been a complete roller coaster! I went from being freaked out about not being hired back with my district, to finally being ok with it and feeling like this was all in God's plan, to being hired back by my district, having 2 days to set up and do Back to School Night, and then teaching a class of 28 first graders who had gone the first three weeks of school without me. Whew!!!!! Let's just say I cried A LOT!!!!! Thankfully, I had my wonderful husband and parents there to help me set  up my new classroom in 2 days flat! I love my new students but have one that is extremely challenging so it's been a long 2 weeks learning new routines in a new school with new students and new behavior situations. So needless to say a long workshop on a Saturday was not something I was excited about.
The workshop started off with a presentation on coping with the wait. We were able to get in small groups with other couples and talk about how hard the wait really is. It was nice to meet these other couples and know that we are not alone. We aren't the only ones who get upset when one of our friends announces their pregnancy. We aren't the only ones who don't like going to baby showers and birthday parties filled with babies, pregnant woman, and happy parents. We aren't the only ones who hate getting asked the question, "Do you have kids?" "Why are you adopting?" "Well, IVF worked for our friends. You should use their doctor." We aren't the only ones who look at our empty nursery and cry just longing for our new baby to be with us. And we aren't the only ones who feel jealous, heartache, angry, and sad when walking through a crowded mall, Disneyland, or even a grocery store while we notice all the pregnant women and happy moms with their babies. I was so glad to get that off my chest with people who actually understand and have heard all of the same things throughout their wait time. I was a little nervous meeting all these new people, worried that we might not have much to talk about, but it was really nice knowing Darryl and I aren't the only ones who have these feelings. Some of these thoughts and feelings are obviously ones we can't go around telling everyone because of course we are supposed to be excited for people with babies, and happy at birthday parties, and we are supposed to be perfectly comfortable answering intimate questions asked by complete strangers. We now know that all of these feelings are totally normal and that most couples adopting have gone through all of these ups and downs during their wait time.
We also talked about praying for our birth moms which Darryl and I have been doing since day 1. I like to pray for her in the morning on my way to work but my prayers often sound the same. I pray that she is having a good day, that she feels peace with the decision that she is about to make, that she will know the second she sees Darryl and me, she will know we are the parents for her child, and that God will keep her and the baby safe and healthy. Since I've been in this routine and starting to feel like I need to do more, I was very happy to see this as part of the slide show at our training!

I'm ordering mine this week and can't wait to start praying for some specifics for our birth mom knowing that this wait time is just as tough on her if not more than it is on us.
The second part of our training was called, "The Secret Struggles of Adoption". During this time we were able to hear 4 different couples' adoption stories and the joys and disappointments they had to deal with along the way. It was also nice to hear different views of people who have gone through Bethany. It definitely got me excited for the day we get to bring our baby home but it also prepared us to be guarded at the same time.
I think the best part of the training was getting to meet an awesome couple named Stephanie and Casey. We've been on the waiting list about the same time, we have a lot in common (Stephanie and I both teach first grade!) and we live very close to each other. I can't wait to hang out with our new friends, get to know them better, and be supportive of each other during this journey. All in all, our Saturday training wasn't as bad as I thought. It ended up being a really good day! :)
Prayer Requests:
1. Please continue to pray for our birth mom and the health of her and the baby (babies)
2. Pray that she is confident in her decision and that she knows without a doubt that D and I are meant to be her child's parents. (I will have many more specifics when I get my book) :) Can't wait to share them with you!
3. Pray that D and I will be able to bring home our baby soon but also that the adoption will be a smooth one.
Thank you so much!