The day after...

So yesterday was not a good day as I'm sure you've all heard. Lots of crying, lots of asking, "why?", and lots of feeling like I serve no purpose. I know that's not true but when all you want to do is be a mother and God keeps telling you, "not yet", it gets a little frustrating and you start to wonder what your purpose is and what we should do next. Maybe he's telling us to just wait a few months, maybe he's telling us to use a surrogate, or maybe he's telling us to adopt. It's funny because for the past few years I have never been able to picture myself in a hospital bed with my newborn surrounded by loved ones. I've always had this picture of Darryl and I walking into baggage claim at LAX with our newborn in our arms and tons of family and friends waiting for us. I don't know if this is something we should follow or if I'm just picturing it because the thought of having our own babies is so unreachable right now. Only God knows. But for now we have paid for 2 rounds of IVF so we are for sure trying it one more time. Whether or not we have healthy embryos left over will determine our next move if round 2 fails. And I'm sure some of you are reading this thinking, "Oh no...they shouldn 't be thinking about round 2 failing, they need to be positive, they need to relax and let it happen, they need to not worry." Well honestly...it's not as easy as it sounds. We've wanted children for 3 years now and with IVF you have to expect the best and be prepared for the worst all at the same time. We are doing the best we can and are trying to keep our excitement for what God has planned. Not an easy road, and I hope that Darryl and I can be encouraging to other couples going through the same situation. Neither one of us are the type of people that can go out on the street and spread the word of God but I hope that through sharing this experience with others, we can be witnesses in our own way. Instead of turning our backs on God in this tough situation, we are trusting that he knows what is best. Our time will come and be so much greater than we ever expected.
Ok.....so now on to the fun stuff. Darryl took the day off today so we could spend the day together doing whatever we wanted. We had the awesome idea of taking our babies (Ari and Drama) to the dog beach. Well our fun filled beach day with our lovely little puppies quickly turned into a bad scene from "Marley and Me". We still had a good time but Ari (our 5 month old German Shepherd) has never been to the dog beach and insisted on barking at every dog, person, bird, car, stick, wind, ....that went by. We didn't take her off the leash very often because we weren't too sure what she would do. The first time we let her off, she ran after her tennis ball, grabbed it, and then headed off to a family down the beach that had 2 little girls who didn't seem too thrilled to have a 40 pound dog charging at them with a tennis ball in her mouth . Darryl chased her down the beach, apologized, and Ari ended up back on her leash. Then Darryl took her off her leash a little later, played some more catch with her, and then brought her back up to me on the sand. We continued to hold her as anyone walked by because she would be barking like crazy at them. One lady told us to just let her go because us holding her back might be making Ari think that there is something wrong. Sooooooo....we let her go and she played some more catch and then came up to sit by me on the sand. (Meanwhile Drama didn't want ANYTHING to do with the water, the sand, the other dogs. NOPE. It was almost like she didn't want her pretty little princess paws to get dirty. So she sat cuddling with me on the beach) So then out of nowhere, a giant pit bull comes charging towards us on the beach (I'm sure it just wanted to play) but Ari got in full attack mode trying to protect us, jumped over me (scratching my arm up and knocking me in the face), and was about ready to rip this dog's face off. While I checked to make sure my nose wasn't broken, Darryl pulled the dogs apart and at that point I said WE'RE DONE! Here's some pics of our day! :)

This is Ari when is she is somewhat behaving.

Our precious little princesses




I thought this was a pretty cute pic of D and Ari.



Drama with her,"Can we go now?" face.

Me and baby Drama

This is what happens when your dog is trying to save you from a pit bull!

So besides the doggy madness, we had a good day. Darryl and I went to Esther's Tacos for lunch and then relaxed at home until he went to his basketball game. :) I did want to say to everyone thank you for all the prayers!!!!! I feel like we owe you a baby or something. But please keep praying. I know God listens. xoxo

Prayer Requests:
1. Please pray for peace for Darryl and I as we move into IVF round 2.
2. Pray that I won't be a crying mess while meeting with Dr. H this Thursday. (I tend to do that)
3. Pray that Dr. H has a new medicine protocol for us based on our last IVF round and high hopes that things will turn out better.
4. Pray for my cousin Arielle. She too received a negative on her pregnancy test and is doing her best to stay strong.
5. Pray that we will both be able to add a baby (babies) to our family this year. :) Thank you!