This is why...

This blog has been created to give our family and friends an idea of our journey through infertility and the steps we chose to take to make our dream of becoming parents a reality. There may be a few graphic details here and there, along with some fun photos, but most importantly, we wanted to document these events in our lives for our future children and for anyone else who dreams of becoming a parent. Enjoy!


*Anyone who may be interested in us as adoptive parents, please feel free to check out our link at Bethany.

http://waitingfamilies.bethany.org/home/california/darryl-and-jennifer



Thursday, January 19, 2012

Stressful Stuff...

So we've had a few stressful moments with our adoption lately and have definitely needed some prayers. Thank you to all who have been praying and who continue to pray for the rest of this adoption to run smoothly. We had a talk with our attorney tonight and it made me feel much better about things but I don't think I will feel totally confident until we have all of our adoption certificates in our hands and Claire is legally ours. After telling my mom all of this, she told me that God has brought us this far and that we need to keep our faith in him. She told me to read chap. 12-15 in Numbers and this story definitely helped me to be less worried about things. My favorite verse was Numbers 14:11 "The Lord said to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?" And the notes at the bottom of my Bible said, "Often we do the same thing. We trust God to handle the smaller issues but doubt his ability to take care of the big problems, the tough decisions, the frightening situations. Don't stop trusting God just as you are ready to reach your goal. He brought you this far and won't let you down now. We can continue trusting in God by remembering all he has done for us."
This was exactly what I needed to hear and am so glad we have such a wonderful support system around us.
I was also surprised to find out I have a new adoption friend at school! One of my students has a twin sister and 2 brothers. Well her mom came in to help in my classroom and after talking with her for a little bit at recess about our Claire Bear, I found out that all 4 of her children were adopted! I had no idea and told her I really thought that her daughters looked like her. It was fun talking with her and she told me that she almost went through Bethany too but then a situation came up and it was better for her to go another route. I am so thankful for her and her kind words. She told me I could come to her anytime with any questions and even came up to me after school today to tell me she will be praying for us. It's nice to know that I even have that special support at work.
And on another happy note, I'm proud to announce that my cousin Arielle who has been trying as long as we have to have children of her own, attended her first Bethany orientation and is very excited to get the process started with her husband! We are so happy for them and can't wait to help support them during this journey. And one more thing! I spoke with a friend of ours who is also on the waiting list with Bethany and found out that her and her husband's portfolio was shown this week!!!! Soooooooo exciting!!!! Please keep my cousin and our good friends at Bethany on your prayer list. Darryl and I can't wait to celebrate with all of them and hope that it is very soon!!!!
Well that's all for right now. I will keep you updated on our adoption. Please continue to pray that the rest of this process goes smoothly and that all papers will be signed, sealed, and delivered as soon as possible. xoxo

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Fussy Claire=Crazy Mommy!

Just a quick post to show how cute Claire is. (And a little to show my wife is strange)

Friday, December 30, 2011

These boots were made for looking cute!!!

So I just had to share Claire's Christmas present from her Auntie Trisha! Her sister-in-law Zelda makes these and sells them on Etsy! They are so adorable and match my gray knit Uggs. Thanks Auntie Trisha and thank you Zelda! I will be purchasing some new ones very soon because our little Claire is almost too big for them. ;) Here is Zelda's Etsy account address if anyone is interested.



Wednesday, December 28, 2011

One amazing Christmas!

Claire is now 2 months old and this has been one of the happiest holidays of my life! She has been an amazing addition to our family and we couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present. It's so weird to think that just a couple of months ago I was dreading another year without a baby. I knew eventually it would happen but the holidays are always hard when you are wishing and waiting for something that everyone else seems to be handed. One thing Darryl and I promised to do was to never forget what it felt like to wait. Not because we want to feel sorry for ourselves or make others feel bad for us but because we want to remember how extremely lucky and blessed we truly are and to never take this little girl for granted. We also want to make sure we are supporting others going through the wait that we had. We know a few other couples going through the adoption or fertility process and we know how hard it is. I want them to know (and they know who they are) that we are praying for them and can't wait for the day to celebrate with them!
I will be honest and say that having a baby is hard work and it's a big change but it is so worth it when you see that little face smile at you for the first time or hear them "coo" at the sound of your voice. Here are some of my favorite moments from this month!


Claire sleeping with her mommy! This was one of those, I am so exhausted moments that I just wanted to lay down for a few minutes. My little one felt the same way I guess. :) I love that we are laying in the same pose! And that wasn't even planned! 

 2 Bethany babies! My sister-in-law's boyfriend's brother was in town and he too was adopted through Bethany. It was fun to see Preston holding our little Claire. Preston was visiting from his base in Hawaii and may be sent over seas soon. He is a good man and it just proves that some pretty amazing people in this world are adopted. :)


 I love this one! Claire was laying on her boppy and showing off how she can lift her head already! She is one strong lady!


When I'm home in the morning, I feed Claire and then sit her on my lap to talk or sing for a while. She is always super smiley in the morning. :)

Darryl took this picture and we both immediately changed our backgrounds on our phones to this. She is such a cutie patootie!

She can hold two things at once! Claire is starting to grip things (including Mommy's hair and necklace) but she loves playing under her gym and holding the rings.


Claire attended her first Christmas party and got to meet Santa! Here she is with Hunter at the Geronsin house. I look at this picture and still can't believe all of this is real.


 And here's a fun video of Claire smiling and talking. This is something I just can't get enough of. :)



Though this month has been amazing, we've also needed some much needed prayers for Claire's adoption. Please pray that the rest of this adoption will go as smoothly as it started out, that all paperwork will be signed and mailed to the proper people, and that we can start the finalization process very soon. We are so grateful for all of you who continue to keep us, Claire's birth parents, and Bethany in your prayers. God can do amazing things and our little Claire is proof of that. xoxo

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Claire is one month!!!


Well actually she turned one month last week on Thanksgiving day but I haven't had a chance to update the blog yet. :) Being a new mommy is definitely keeping me busy! Since we've had Claire at home things have been a little crazy and mommy and daddy are very tired but in a wonderful way! We couldn't have asked for a better gift for the holidays and Claire has been able to spend all of them with us! Halloween, Thanksgiving, and in a few weeks, Christmas! Here are some pics and events over the last month.


The pictures below were taken by my good friend Tammy who does beautiful baby portraits! She came over about a week after Claire was born and spent lots of time making sure she got the best shots of our little angel. Thank you Tammy! I love each and every one of them!


Here I am with my beautiful daughter! She is so precious and I love spending time with her at home. Going back to work next week is not going to be pleasant but I am at ease knowing that she will be well taken care of by my mom and sister-in-law while Darryl and I are working. Thank God that my job allows me to have so much time off and getting home at a decent hour to spend more time with my baby. :) 

And here she is with her Daddy. :)


On Thanksgiving day Claire was able to hang out with her two older cousins, Delilah and Audrey!

She also got to hang out with Auntie Trisha!

This is one of my favorites! I was messing around with my photo options on my phone and caught my little girl smiling as I kissed her! So cute!!!

Tammy also did Claire's announcements! They turned out so good! :)

And here's a little video that made us smile!

We have had so much fun this month and can't wait to see what else is in store for us! Thank you to all who have kept us, her birth mom, and Claire in their prayers. We love you!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

More about our story...

Jen asked me to take over since she has been writing up a storm lately...

First, I want to say that I was a complete wreck in South Carolina. I wanted so badly to up and leave to be with Jen and Claire. I had to fulfill my commitment to Piedmont Technical College by spending a couple days with them teaching them how to use the software tools that Evisions develops. They were so grateful to have me there and were so proud that I was a new dad. The director of IT there was telling everyone about Claire, and they were so happy to see pictures of her. They, along with the my bosses back in Irvine, were kind enough to let me cut the trip short. I was going to fly back Wednesday evening, but of course, the flight sold out as we were purchasing it. I settled for the first flight Thursday morning. This allowed me to stay the night at Daniel and Jackie's (Jen's brother and his wife) and see my nephews, Cristian and Gabriel.



They were so happy to see me. I got to play with them for about an hour before they went to bed. From there, I was home and the happiest person in the world. It was so surreal holding Claire for the first time. I kept thinking that this can't be real. As you all have seen, she is perfect and beautiful.

I got to spend the first night with Jen and Claire alone. It was my first opportunity to feed and change her diapers. I literally just stared and watched her for about an hour sleeping in her swing. I also was pretty terrified of breaking her, but I have since learned how to handle her with ease. I thought Claire and I had a deal where she was going to leave the poop diapers for her mom, but she broke that pretty quickly. She managed to get it on my hand the first night. Never thought I would be happy about that.

That first day back we also took Claire to her first doctors appointment. We never got around to researching pediatricians so we just picked the closest one to us. We ended up seeing Dr Helati, and we loved him. It turned out to be George and Kristina's pediatrician. So that was another blessing for us to find.



The following week, we got to take Claire to her hearing test. She initially failed it at the hospital. Fortunately, she passed with flying colors. Of course, we could already tell that she could hear things since she would get startled with loud noises, but it was nice to hear it formally.

In these 2 weeks, Jen and I have been nervously waiting for the birthmom to relinquish her rights. There was a slight delay because her stitches started to come out early. She finally signed them on Friday, October 28, 2011, and Kiana overnighted them to the state on Halloween.

Claire spent her first Halloween as a Ladybug.



I wanted her to be a Hot Dog, but we couldn't find the costume. Oh well. I did get to carve Claire's first pumpkin. I asked Jen's brother, Anthony, to sketch up her name for me to carve, and it came out great.



We got to pass candy out to our neighbors. We picked up Jen's Grandma and spent the evening with her too. She treated us to dinner at the Habit. For those in Anaheim Hills, it is a delicious burger place. You should make a trip there.

It seems like everyone who has come to see Claire has instantly fallen in love with her. Jen and I, especially, but we just kept wishing that everything was official. The thing about the relinquishment forms is that the birthmom still has rights until the forms are acknowledged by the state. It could be anywhere from 1 day to 2 weeks for that to occur. Fortunately, I got the call from Kiana on Tuesday, November 8, that they had been acknowledged by the state. Claire is officially our daughter!

We are now starting the legal process of finalizing the adoption. This is a series of supervised visits with our social worker, and it takes anywhere from 6 to 9 months. The first step is a supervised visit with Kiana at 6 weeks. It will also be our first visit with our birthmom since Claire's was released from the hospital. This will be on December 30th. At the end of this process, we get to go to court, but it is a good thing. It is more of a celebration than anything.

What else can I say? This has been one hell of a 4+ year ride. At the beginning, Jen and I said, "By October 2007, we will be pregnant." Who knew that it would take til October 2011 for all of this to happen. Through all of the struggles we have had, I would not change one thing. I think it has allowed us to really appreciate what we have. In the end, we have our beautiful daughter, Claire. Jen and I are finally enjoying life as new parents....

Meet Claire Elise Shirley!

Ok...back to the hospital. When my parents and I arrived at the hospital, we were greeted by my friend Melanie and she showed us where the nursery was and where to find our birth mom. I knocked on our birth mom's door and spoke with her for a little bit. She told me that she hadn't seen the baby all day because she wanted me to be the first to hold her. :) The nurses gave me a wrist band that matched our birth mom's and the baby's and then led me into the nursery. I took one look at our little girl and couldn't believe that this day had finally arrived. My mom and Melanie stood outside the nursery window and snapped some pictures.

  
After spending some time with my brand new daughter in the nursery, we found out that the hospital was going to give me my own room for the night. I was thrilled! I had no idea that I would get to spend so much time with our new baby but our birth mom made sure that I was included in everything and that I was able to bond with her as much as possible. 

Meet Claire Elise! 


   I had waited so long for this day to arrive but never thought it would be without Darryl. We talked on the phone a lot and I sent him picture after picture. I even took a video hoping he would feel as part of this as he could from across the country.

 




Grandma and Grandpa also got to spend some quality time with their new grand daughter!


And thank God for my best friend Emmy and her husband Leonel! They drove to my house, picked up a bag that my Dad had packed up with clothes for my mom and me, and drove it out to the hospital in Murrieta. We now had pj's, toothbrushes, and pillows to make our night in the hospital a little more comfortable. :)

 
My mom and I were able to stay the night and our birth mom allowed for our little Claire to stay the night in my room! Our prayers were being answered one by one and this truly was going as smoothly as it possibly could!


When Claire was born she was put on antibiotics through an IV as a precaution for infections. Since she was born early the doctors wanted to play it safe and we were just waiting for the test results to come back to see if they would be transferring Claire to the NICU. 


The test results came back the next day and the nurses said she was perfectly fine and that we could be discharged that day! We were a little nervous, not knowing if our birth mom would allow us to take Claire home before she was discharged but she was absolutely amazing and said that we could! She however, had to stay in the hospital for a few extra days due to a C-Section and her staples coming out. 
When our social worker arrived on day 2 at the hospital, she had the birth mom and me fill out lots and lots of paperwork and explained that our birth mom would not be able to sign the relinquishment papers giving up her parental rights until she was discharged from the hospital. She told me that I could still take Claire home but that it may be a few days before the birth mom could sign the papers and then she explained that the birth mom had the right to have the papers held for 30 days or to have them filed immediately. I was nervous taking Claire home, not knowing what our birth mom's decision would be but I trusted that God knew what he was doing and that I needed to take this little girl home, love her, and be her mommy for as long as I could. 


Discharge papers were started at noon, and at 5:30 or so, we were finally released from the hospital and I was able to bring my daughter home! Before we left we took a few pictures with our birth mom and even took pictures with Matt and Melanie and their new baby boy Hunter! Melanie swears that one day our two little ones will be married and will have the story of a lifetime! 

After saying our goodbyes to the WONDERFUL hospital staff and our birth mom, we were on our way home!!!!

Claire's first car ride!

One happy Mommy!
 
 As we pulled up to our house we were greeted by an awesome sign that my niece and neighborhood girls put together for us! It says, "Welcome baby Claire!"
  And I must take a moment and say how blessed we are to have such amazing neighbors and even more amazing sister!!!! My sister-in-law Jen broke into our house and spent all day building our pack n play, our co-sleeper, our swing, cleaning our floors, washing clothes, buying some more baby items, and even going out and getting dinner for us!!!! My eyes still fill with tears when I think how loving that was of her and how long she has been waiting for this day! She has been so supportive and knows first hand the heartache we have gone through these past four years. Thank you Jen for being such a good Auntie to our little Claire and for helping to prepare our home for our newest family member. ( I know Claire's other Aunties would have been there helping too if they could have been) :)


Our good friends Kristina and George also surprised us with a giant present in our front yard! Unfortunately it gets VERY windy at our house and the winds picked up so much that night that I had to bring it indoors. I didn't want any flying pieces to hit anyone's car and I didn't want it ruined since we got to keep part of it. The bag will be hanging in Claire's new nursery. And thank you again to George and Kristina for all of the clothes they brought over for our Claire! They have twin girls and know how many clothes babies go through!


When Thursday finally rolled around we got the best present of all! Daddy got to come home and meet his beautiful baby girl! I will let him take over the story from here.