So a few weeks ago Darryl and I were visited by our adoption social worker from Bethany. She checks in with each couple every 6 months to see how they're doing and if they have any updates for their paper work. Jamie came over right on time and started the meeting by asking how we were. We told her about our blessing party and the fun and not so fun times of our wait. She then asked us to review our paper work and wanted to know if there was anything we were thinking about changing. We told her we were comfortable with what we had originally decided but that we would continue to look at it throughout our wait. Jamie is such a sweet heart and we're so lucky to have her working with us so closely. She always tells us that we can call her any time with any questions, thoughts, or even if we're upset and just need to cry.
These last few months, there have been times where I've been a little anxious...wondering if anyone has seen our portfolio and wondering if they have us in mind or why they didn't pick us. I pray daily that God will send us our baby soon but I also pray for a smooth adoption and that our birth mom is confident with her decision. Jamie told us that the last couple of adoptions have been really complicated. I started thanking God immediately that Darryl and I were not put in that position. We would much rather have a smooth adoption and a little longer wait time then to go through an interrupted placement. (An interrupted placement means that sometime after the birth mom picked a couple, she changed her mind and the baby is either taken from the adoptive parents' home or never given to them in the first place.) This does happen once in a while and I can't imagine how hard that situation must be. I guess the only way to look at it is to trust that God knows what he's doing and there is a reason that the baby needs to stay with his/her birth mom. With that said, please continue to pray that Darryl and I will never have to experience the pain of an interrupted placement and that we are placed with a birth mom who knows without a doubt that she wants us to be the parents of her baby. :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Blessing party!!! :)
What amazing family and friends Darryl and I have! Last Saturday our good friends George and Kristina threw us a blessing party! Now, one might ask, "What do you do at a blessing party?" Well, it was a time for our close friends and family to hear about our adoption process, ask any questions they may have, and to help us prepare for our soon to be baby. We are still on the waiting list but as mentioned before, we could get a call any day and want to be as prepared as we can. Kristina spent a lot of time putting together a theme and prepping all of the cute decorations. She went with a "Soon to BEE parents" theme and it was extremely cute! Lots of black, white, and yellow and very detailed! :) I love being friends with a party planner! Here are some pics from that night.
All in all, it was a nice night and we are so thankful to all of our friends and family who have been by our side during this journey. And again, a special thanks to George and Kristina. Their journey to have children has been similar to ours and although their family has grown they still support us and can't wait for the day we receive that call. :) Someday soon we will all be celebrating the addition to our family but until then please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for a smooth adoption with no complications and for a healthy baby that we can love to pieces. :)
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| My friend Kristina who is an amazing friend and party planner! |
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| My best friend since 9th grade, Emmy. :) |
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| Emmy's son Gavin. He's such a cutie! |
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| My sister-in-law Michelle made me this diaper doll! I love it!!!! My niece Audrey did too! She kept going up to it and saying, "Baby, baby!" Thank you Michelle! |
All in all, it was a nice night and we are so thankful to all of our friends and family who have been by our side during this journey. And again, a special thanks to George and Kristina. Their journey to have children has been similar to ours and although their family has grown they still support us and can't wait for the day we receive that call. :) Someday soon we will all be celebrating the addition to our family but until then please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for a smooth adoption with no complications and for a healthy baby that we can love to pieces. :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Yep...still waiting.
It's been a while since our last update and since I'm constantly being asked, "Have you heard anything yet?", let me explain why we haven't. :) Darryl and I chose not to know when our portfolios are looked at by birth moms. We felt that if we knew a birth mom looked at our book and didn't pick us, we would be wondering why and second guessing everything we put in our letter and portfolio. Sooo....we will not hear anything until we actually get a phone call telling us that we've been selected. As of right now, we don't know if our portfolio has been shown or not. We do know through monthly updates that Bethany has been placing about 2 babies a month. That sounds good but keep in mind there are families waiting ahead of us and we may not be a match to those birth moms placing their babies. There's so many variables that need to be in place, that this will truly be God picking the right baby for us. :)
Our adoption counselor Jamie will be visiting us on Monday for a 6 month check in. She just wants to make sure that our paperwork is all up to date and she'll probably ask if we want to change anything. She was supposed to come over today but she had a last minute appointment she and another social worker had to be at to transport a baby. She didn't sound too happy about it so I'm just praying that someone's baby isn't being taken away from them. I would rather wait a little longer and have a smooth adoption than fall in love with a baby only to have it taken back by the birth mom. I can't even imagine having to go through that.
On a happier note, I went to my nephew's birthday party a few weeks ago and had a nice talk with my brother and sister-in-law's friend named Alex. I've always seen her and said hello at other birthday parties and family events but never knew that her and her brother were adopted through Bethany! How exciting that I have someone in my life that has lived through the adoption journey but on the other side of it. Alex is very sweet and now has a little girl of her own. We are now facebook friends and I'm sure she would love to answer any questions Darryl and I may have along the way.
This weekend we will also be taking one more step in our adoption process! Our good friends Kristina and George are throwing us a blessing party. Just a small event with family and close friends to come together and pray for our adoption and also to collect some of the much needed items (car seat, bottles, blankets, etc.) if we are called with a suprise baby. A sort of "baby shower" but not really. Kristina has been in the party planning business for a while and has been so excited to get this party going. She and George recently adopted a baby boy and know how crazy it is getting a baby on short notice. They have been so supportive and can't wait for the day we receive our phone call.
Please keep us in your prayers. I really haven't been stressing about the adoption but I think the longer we have to wait the more I will wonder why we are waiting. Pray that this can all happen sooner rather than later and that we can start our new lives as parents to the newborn that was created especially for us. :)
Our adoption counselor Jamie will be visiting us on Monday for a 6 month check in. She just wants to make sure that our paperwork is all up to date and she'll probably ask if we want to change anything. She was supposed to come over today but she had a last minute appointment she and another social worker had to be at to transport a baby. She didn't sound too happy about it so I'm just praying that someone's baby isn't being taken away from them. I would rather wait a little longer and have a smooth adoption than fall in love with a baby only to have it taken back by the birth mom. I can't even imagine having to go through that.
On a happier note, I went to my nephew's birthday party a few weeks ago and had a nice talk with my brother and sister-in-law's friend named Alex. I've always seen her and said hello at other birthday parties and family events but never knew that her and her brother were adopted through Bethany! How exciting that I have someone in my life that has lived through the adoption journey but on the other side of it. Alex is very sweet and now has a little girl of her own. We are now facebook friends and I'm sure she would love to answer any questions Darryl and I may have along the way.
This weekend we will also be taking one more step in our adoption process! Our good friends Kristina and George are throwing us a blessing party. Just a small event with family and close friends to come together and pray for our adoption and also to collect some of the much needed items (car seat, bottles, blankets, etc.) if we are called with a suprise baby. A sort of "baby shower" but not really. Kristina has been in the party planning business for a while and has been so excited to get this party going. She and George recently adopted a baby boy and know how crazy it is getting a baby on short notice. They have been so supportive and can't wait for the day we receive our phone call.
Please keep us in your prayers. I really haven't been stressing about the adoption but I think the longer we have to wait the more I will wonder why we are waiting. Pray that this can all happen sooner rather than later and that we can start our new lives as parents to the newborn that was created especially for us. :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Certification Hours
Well, it's been almost 2 months since Darryl and I have been certified and officially on the waiting list. We haven't seen any action yet but we were told that our portfolio probably won't even get shown for the first 3 months or so because of other waiting families before us. So in the meantime Darryl and I have attended 2 classes at Bethany that count towards our certification hours. To remain certified as adoptive parents we have to complete so many hours of workshops each year. Last month we attended a class called, "Baby Care Basics" that was all about what to expect once we receive our baby. (and not what to expect as far as the adoption but just what to expect when you have a baby living with you) It was kind of funny because we learned how to bathe the baby, change the baby's diaper, and how to soothe the baby. I would normally think this class was a waste of time considering we have several nieces and nephews and had many hands on experiences with this type of stuff but the lady teaching it was so nice and very entertaining. And I must admit that I enjoyed watching the video about Dr. Karp and his 5 S's for soothing a crying baby. :) I wonder if he makes house calls???
This month we attended a class called, "The Birth Parent Dynamic" in which we learned about the whole adoption process but through the birth parents' eyes. Society normally has some kind of stereotype about birth parents who place their babies for adoption and don't see them as a person who had an untimely pregnancy and is now doing what's best for their child. Birth moms can be anywhere from 14-45 years old (at least at our Bethany office) and each one goes through the same emotions and fears as the adoptive parents. In most cases when an adoptive parent meets the birth mom for the first time they are worried that the birth mom won't want them to raise her baby, and we learned that the birth mom is worried that we won't want her baby. It's nice to know that we will both be worried, I guess.
We also learned the correct adoption language so here it goes....Instead of saying "put up for adoption" the proper term is "placed for adoption". Instead of saying "Kelly is adopted." You say, "Kelly was adopted" (It only happened once, and Kelly is now part of a family.) Instead of saying "Real parent" you say "birth parent" etc. We also learned things to talk about on our first meeting and what to do and not to do if we are invited to come to the hospital for the delivery. My biggest disappointment is that our families will not be allowed to come to the hospital with us unless for some reason the birth mom invites them. Bethany believes in letting the birth mom have as much time with HER baby at the hospital as she wants. It is still he child and it's important for her to have those 2 days with the baby. Some birth moms don't want to see the baby at all once it is born and others do want to hold the baby and maybe even name it (Bethany also encourages this and although we don't have to keep the name she picked, it allows her to feel like she is a piece of this child's life and possibly that the child is taking a little piece of her with it) Some adoptive parents use the child's birth name as a middle name or second middle name. Once the baby is born, the birth mom signs over her rights as the parent. (Most birth moms sign the papers in the hospital because they would rather get it over with and not have to focus on it any more. However, the birth mom can ask Bethany to hold the papers for a 30 day waiting period.) Once the papers are signed, they are overnighted to Sacramento and can be stamped the next day or within a 10 day period. If they are not stamped in 10 days the signature becomes automatic and the birth mom has relinquished her parental rights. We already know that if our future birth mom asks for a 30 day waiting period, that it is probably not a good sign, so we ask for your prayers.
Please pray that our birth mom is confident in her decision and will receive the counseling offered by Bethany to sign over her rights immediately and keep her decision final. We pray for a smooth adoption whatever that may look like. We also pray that we will receive a baby in a way that I am able to stay home for the first couple of months and that we will be financially stable through all of this. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and we pray that all of you have a Happy Easter!
Oh! And on a different note, Darryl had his LASIK eye surgery done today! It was pretty awesome because I got to watch! There was a nurse who stood there with me the whole time and asked me questions and asked me if I wanted water and it wasn't until I was talking with my dad when I got home that she was probably making sure I didn't pass out. :) Hahaha! It is pretty scary looking but Darryl is already saying he can see better and we will know for sure how it all looks tomorrow at his post-op appointment. Please keep him in your prayers as well! Thank you!
This month we attended a class called, "The Birth Parent Dynamic" in which we learned about the whole adoption process but through the birth parents' eyes. Society normally has some kind of stereotype about birth parents who place their babies for adoption and don't see them as a person who had an untimely pregnancy and is now doing what's best for their child. Birth moms can be anywhere from 14-45 years old (at least at our Bethany office) and each one goes through the same emotions and fears as the adoptive parents. In most cases when an adoptive parent meets the birth mom for the first time they are worried that the birth mom won't want them to raise her baby, and we learned that the birth mom is worried that we won't want her baby. It's nice to know that we will both be worried, I guess.
We also learned the correct adoption language so here it goes....Instead of saying "put up for adoption" the proper term is "placed for adoption". Instead of saying "Kelly is adopted." You say, "Kelly was adopted" (It only happened once, and Kelly is now part of a family.) Instead of saying "Real parent" you say "birth parent" etc. We also learned things to talk about on our first meeting and what to do and not to do if we are invited to come to the hospital for the delivery. My biggest disappointment is that our families will not be allowed to come to the hospital with us unless for some reason the birth mom invites them. Bethany believes in letting the birth mom have as much time with HER baby at the hospital as she wants. It is still he child and it's important for her to have those 2 days with the baby. Some birth moms don't want to see the baby at all once it is born and others do want to hold the baby and maybe even name it (Bethany also encourages this and although we don't have to keep the name she picked, it allows her to feel like she is a piece of this child's life and possibly that the child is taking a little piece of her with it) Some adoptive parents use the child's birth name as a middle name or second middle name. Once the baby is born, the birth mom signs over her rights as the parent. (Most birth moms sign the papers in the hospital because they would rather get it over with and not have to focus on it any more. However, the birth mom can ask Bethany to hold the papers for a 30 day waiting period.) Once the papers are signed, they are overnighted to Sacramento and can be stamped the next day or within a 10 day period. If they are not stamped in 10 days the signature becomes automatic and the birth mom has relinquished her parental rights. We already know that if our future birth mom asks for a 30 day waiting period, that it is probably not a good sign, so we ask for your prayers.
Please pray that our birth mom is confident in her decision and will receive the counseling offered by Bethany to sign over her rights immediately and keep her decision final. We pray for a smooth adoption whatever that may look like. We also pray that we will receive a baby in a way that I am able to stay home for the first couple of months and that we will be financially stable through all of this. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and we pray that all of you have a Happy Easter!
Oh! And on a different note, Darryl had his LASIK eye surgery done today! It was pretty awesome because I got to watch! There was a nurse who stood there with me the whole time and asked me questions and asked me if I wanted water and it wasn't until I was talking with my dad when I got home that she was probably making sure I didn't pass out. :) Hahaha! It is pretty scary looking but Darryl is already saying he can see better and we will know for sure how it all looks tomorrow at his post-op appointment. Please keep him in your prayers as well! Thank you!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
In God's hands....
Yesterday was a fun day! My good friend Taylor needed to register for her upcoming baby shower and asked if I could go with her and do some registering as well. I felt a little weird registering for my invisible baby but as Taylor said, "It could happen any minute....and I might as well be prepared." I wasn't sure how the day would go and was a little worried that I might have a break down registering for all this cute baby stuff but I honestly did have a good time. Taylor and I pretty much registered for the same type of stuff but had a blast trying to figure out which brand of bottles was best and which brand of car seats was best etc. :) It was also fun trying to dodge a stalker type worker at Babies R Us who kept asking us if we were sisters or best friends or cousins.....and then she preceded to tell us all about her kids and her sister's kids. If we saw her down an aisle we wanted to go down, we quickly walked by and went down a different aisle. B ut all in all, it was a fun day and Taylor was so supportive. Thanks Taylor!!!!! Once we find out when we are getting our baby and find out the sex, I may go back and change some stuff to make it more girly or boyish but for now, I have the essentials. And one day we will have some type of party/shower that the registry will come in handy for. But for now it's all in God's hands.
Please continue to pray for us as we wait. The adoption agency said waiting can be the hardest part but after waiting for almost 4 years....we are pretty used to it. Prayers that can be lifted up are 1. praying for this process to run smoothly, 2. praying that it will happen in a way that I can be home with the baby for the first few months, and 3. pray for our birth mom and her decision that she is facing.
Thank you for your love and support through this process.
And Jen T......if you're reading this....maybe you should start a blog too! :) Love you girl!
Please continue to pray for us as we wait. The adoption agency said waiting can be the hardest part but after waiting for almost 4 years....we are pretty used to it. Prayers that can be lifted up are 1. praying for this process to run smoothly, 2. praying that it will happen in a way that I can be home with the baby for the first few months, and 3. pray for our birth mom and her decision that she is facing.
Thank you for your love and support through this process.
And Jen T......if you're reading this....maybe you should start a blog too! :) Love you girl!
Friday, March 4, 2011
We are certified!!
Sorry it's been a few weeks since I've written. Darryl and I have been super busy, sick, and just plain old TIRED! And yes....I know....that will all get worse once we actually have children. But like Charlie Sheen says, "BRING IT!" Hahahahaha. :) Darryl and I had our home visit a few Monday's ago which also included a week of cleaning, baby proofing, and buying some much needed decorations for our new wall. Thank you to everyone who came and helped prepare our house. My best friend Emmy was literally on her hands and knees scrubbing everything from our refrigerator to our trash can! Love you girl!
Our social worker showed up right on time and really liked our house. She was able to check everything off and after meeting with us for 30 minutes or so, she happily told us that we were certified! Yay!!! To keep up our certification, we need to do 12 hours of adoption classes, meetings, or read any books on the subject. We have a year to do this, so I'm not too worried. We are already signed up for 2 classes. :) And my friend Kristina wrote me today to tell me our adoption letter is now on the Bethany website! Here is the link if you are interested.
http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/0/4B8CD7825ECB7E7685257849005EA1E3
And I wish we could post the whole 24 page portfolio because it is soooooooo amazing! :) Thanks again Anthony! And again thank you for all the prayers. For now Darryl and I are going to relax, live life to the fullest, and enjoy our time together. We will keep you all updated!
Our social worker showed up right on time and really liked our house. She was able to check everything off and after meeting with us for 30 minutes or so, she happily told us that we were certified! Yay!!! To keep up our certification, we need to do 12 hours of adoption classes, meetings, or read any books on the subject. We have a year to do this, so I'm not too worried. We are already signed up for 2 classes. :) And my friend Kristina wrote me today to tell me our adoption letter is now on the Bethany website! Here is the link if you are interested.
http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethanyWWW.nsf/0/4B8CD7825ECB7E7685257849005EA1E3
And I wish we could post the whole 24 page portfolio because it is soooooooo amazing! :) Thanks again Anthony! And again thank you for all the prayers. For now Darryl and I are going to relax, live life to the fullest, and enjoy our time together. We will keep you all updated!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
2 down, 2 to go...
Darryl and I both completed our second meeting. I had mine on Monday and Darryl's was on Tuesday. We were both nervous about it but Jamie is so understanding and does a good job of asking the right questions to get us talking. (Darryl and I are both pretty quiet at times....and being nervous doesn't help that) She asked a lot of questions about our childhood and related those to how we would raise our future children. So now, we are working on our letter to the birth mom which will go in our portfolio. There is so much I want to say to her but don't know how to get it all on paper and in the right words. I don't want to sound too needy and I don't want to seem like it's an easy decision for her either. But as I sat here listening to the Joshua Radin channel on Pandora on my new Iphone (yay) I began to think how much God has blessed us and how I feel like he is guiding us through this process with one hand on our back. And I found this verse which I think I will include in our letter...
“In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” Ephesians 1:5
I don't know....maybe it's too cheesy but I like that it mentioned adoption and how he knew we would be part of his family from the very beginning. Kind of cool. Well....thank you again for all the prayers and please keep thinking about us as we are remodeling part of the house....(I know....perfect timing right?), attending these meetings, and baby proofing our entire house for our February 21st meeting. We can't wait for the day our family will be Darryl and Jen plus 1....or 2....or 3! :) Thank you for the prayers! xoxo
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