As Darryl and I sat tight waiting for a phone call from Bethany, Darryl had to go on a business trip to South Carolina. He left on a Monday morning and I was planning on meeting him in Georgia on Thursday to spend time with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephews. We knew the timing would be a few weeks away from the birth mom's due date but since she hadn't quite picked us yet, our agency told us not to change any plans and to continue living our lives. So our Monday went as planned. Darryl left early for his flight to South Carolina and I went to work. That night we said good night to each other on the phone and both of us were wondering how the birth mom's counseling session had gone because we knew it was planned for that day. Darryl said if he hadn't heard from our social worker by Wednesday, he would call to see what was going on.
The next day, (1 year after the death of my Grandpa), I got a phone call at 3:00am. It was Darryl calling me from across the country to tell me that our birth mom's water broke and she went into labor early. A healthy, 6 pound, 10 ounce baby girl was born at 9:16pm on October 24th. Her boyfriend had called Darryl 2 hours after all of this took place but since Darryl was out of state, he was already in bed asleep due to the time difference and didn't get the message until the next morning when he got up for work. As Darryl told me what was going on, I had no idea what to do! I knew I couldn't go to the hospital yet, I knew that our social worker hadn't been contacted yet, and I knew that I had several parent teacher conferences already scheduled for that day! All I could do at that moment was call my mom and dad and sister-in-laws and then text a few people with the good news. At that point, we figured that the birth mom must have picked us since she and her boyfriend wanted us to come down to the hospital! We were overjoyed but so sad that Darryl would not be able to come home until Thursday.
After several phone calls back and forth, Darryl decided to call our social worker and ask her what we should do. She told us that she would not be able to get down to the hospital until later that afternoon but that I was allowed to go down there if I wanted. I felt a little weird going down there without her and wasn't sure what exactly I was allowed and not allowed to do once I did get there. Kiana, (our social worker) said that's fine and to go ahead and get some things settled at work and then to head on down to the hospital. So I went into work that morning, took care of a few parent teacher conferences, and prepared for the day. I explained to my very happy principal what was going on and she said she would call in to HR and get a sub for me. I really thought I would be able to keep my composure and teach for a few hours but before the 8:10 bell, I had a fellow teacher come to my room to tell me something. I ended up breaking down crying and telling her that my daughter was born the night before and that I needed to leave as soon as possible. She was so excited for me and told me that I could leave immediately and that she would help watch my class. However, after getting a few things ready, my sub showed up and I was able to leave knowing that my 28 students would be well taken care of.
I called our birth mom before leaving and asked how she was doing. She said she was doing good but that she and the baby were just waiting for me to get there. I asked her if I could bring my mom along since Darryl wasn't in town. She said that would be wonderful and that she would love to meet her! So I headed over to my Grandma's house, picked up my parents, and we made our way to the Rancho Springs Hospital in Murrieta.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
A very important meeting...
On October 19th, Darryl and I arrived at a Chilis Restaurant for the interview of our lives. We met with our Bethany social worker, a birth mom, and her boyfriend. Darryl and I were very nervous and had prepared for days about how we would answer certain questions and also which questions we wanted to ask. I prayed constantly that this birth mom would love us, that she would feel comfortable with us, and that our meeting would run smoothly.
Our prayers were answered! We did little talking because the birth mom really wanted to share with us her story and tell us about why she chose Bethany and why she was choosing adoption. She seemed to feel comfortable with us and was quick to share why she chose us as a possible adoptive family. She liked that I was a teacher and that I enjoyed baking and she liked that Darryl loved to play Rock Band and how close we were with our families. She asked a few questions about our dogs and our nieces and nephews but never really asked those questions we were prepared to answer. I believe that she had our portfolio for at least a month and must have felt like she already knew those answers and trusted that we would be amazing parents.
When we left the restaurant we were a little unsure about how she felt about us since she did most of the talking but our social worker called a couple of hours later and said that the birth mom loved us! Our next step was to set up another meeting after the birth mom had one more counseling session to make sure this was a decision she was still confident making. Darryl and I had to sit tight for a few days until all of this took place but we were thrilled that she liked us and felt one step closer to becoming parents.
Our prayers were answered! We did little talking because the birth mom really wanted to share with us her story and tell us about why she chose Bethany and why she was choosing adoption. She seemed to feel comfortable with us and was quick to share why she chose us as a possible adoptive family. She liked that I was a teacher and that I enjoyed baking and she liked that Darryl loved to play Rock Band and how close we were with our families. She asked a few questions about our dogs and our nieces and nephews but never really asked those questions we were prepared to answer. I believe that she had our portfolio for at least a month and must have felt like she already knew those answers and trusted that we would be amazing parents.
When we left the restaurant we were a little unsure about how she felt about us since she did most of the talking but our social worker called a couple of hours later and said that the birth mom loved us! Our next step was to set up another meeting after the birth mom had one more counseling session to make sure this was a decision she was still confident making. Darryl and I had to sit tight for a few days until all of this took place but we were thrilled that she liked us and felt one step closer to becoming parents.
We got a call!!!!!
On October 13th, D and I were on our way to San Diego to get a hair cut and to visit our awesome sister, brother, and beautiful niece Audrey. We were just driving along and a Bethany social worker called to tell us she had a birth mom who had seen our profile and portfolio and was interested in meeting us! We immediately put Kiana (the social worker) on speaker so we could both hear her. She began telling us a little about the birth mom, her situation, where she lived, and when her baby was due! When she told us her baby girl was due in 3 weeks, we couldn't believe it! This is the moment we have waited so long for but it was hard to be excited when we knew that it could all change in a second. We tried to keep our composure but couldn't help but call our families and tell them what had just happened. We knew everyone would be praying for us and we would rather that than keeping it a secret until we were more sure.
(I am now writing this several weeks later,so from here on out I will be telling you about the day and the days leading up to us becoming parents!)
(I am now writing this several weeks later,so from here on out I will be telling you about the day and the days leading up to us becoming parents!)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Coping with the wait...
Hi friends and family! This weekend Darryl and I attended a workshop at Bethany to keep up with our certification hours. It was from 9:00am-3:00pm and titled "Coping With the Wait" and "The Secret Struggles of Adoption". I wasn't really looking forward to spending most of my Saturday in a room watching power point presentations but I ended up being pleasantly surprised.
First let me start off by saying that the last few weeks have been a complete roller coaster! I went from being freaked out about not being hired back with my district, to finally being ok with it and feeling like this was all in God's plan, to being hired back by my district, having 2 days to set up and do Back to School Night, and then teaching a class of 28 first graders who had gone the first three weeks of school without me. Whew!!!!! Let's just say I cried A LOT!!!!! Thankfully, I had my wonderful husband and parents there to help me set up my new classroom in 2 days flat! I love my new students but have one that is extremely challenging so it's been a long 2 weeks learning new routines in a new school with new students and new behavior situations. So needless to say a long workshop on a Saturday was not something I was excited about.
The workshop started off with a presentation on coping with the wait. We were able to get in small groups with other couples and talk about how hard the wait really is. It was nice to meet these other couples and know that we are not alone. We aren't the only ones who get upset when one of our friends announces their pregnancy. We aren't the only ones who don't like going to baby showers and birthday parties filled with babies, pregnant woman, and happy parents. We aren't the only ones who hate getting asked the question, "Do you have kids?" "Why are you adopting?" "Well, IVF worked for our friends. You should use their doctor." We aren't the only ones who look at our empty nursery and cry just longing for our new baby to be with us. And we aren't the only ones who feel jealous, heartache, angry, and sad when walking through a crowded mall, Disneyland, or even a grocery store while we notice all the pregnant women and happy moms with their babies. I was so glad to get that off my chest with people who actually understand and have heard all of the same things throughout their wait time. I was a little nervous meeting all these new people, worried that we might not have much to talk about, but it was really nice knowing Darryl and I aren't the only ones who have these feelings. Some of these thoughts and feelings are obviously ones we can't go around telling everyone because of course we are supposed to be excited for people with babies, and happy at birthday parties, and we are supposed to be perfectly comfortable answering intimate questions asked by complete strangers. We now know that all of these feelings are totally normal and that most couples adopting have gone through all of these ups and downs during their wait time.
We also talked about praying for our birth moms which Darryl and I have been doing since day 1. I like to pray for her in the morning on my way to work but my prayers often sound the same. I pray that she is having a good day, that she feels peace with the decision that she is about to make, that she will know the second she sees Darryl and me, she will know we are the parents for her child, and that God will keep her and the baby safe and healthy. Since I've been in this routine and starting to feel like I need to do more, I was very happy to see this as part of the slide show at our training!
I'm ordering mine this week and can't wait to start praying for some specifics for our birth mom knowing that this wait time is just as tough on her if not more than it is on us.
The second part of our training was called, "The Secret Struggles of Adoption". During this time we were able to hear 4 different couples' adoption stories and the joys and disappointments they had to deal with along the way. It was also nice to hear different views of people who have gone through Bethany. It definitely got me excited for the day we get to bring our baby home but it also prepared us to be guarded at the same time.
I think the best part of the training was getting to meet an awesome couple named Stephanie and Casey. We've been on the waiting list about the same time, we have a lot in common (Stephanie and I both teach first grade!) and we live very close to each other. I can't wait to hang out with our new friends, get to know them better, and be supportive of each other during this journey. All in all, our Saturday training wasn't as bad as I thought. It ended up being a really good day! :)
Prayer Requests:
1. Please continue to pray for our birth mom and the health of her and the baby (babies)
2. Pray that she is confident in her decision and that she knows without a doubt that D and I are meant to be her child's parents. (I will have many more specifics when I get my book) :) Can't wait to share them with you!
3. Pray that D and I will be able to bring home our baby soon but also that the adoption will be a smooth one.
Thank you so much!
First let me start off by saying that the last few weeks have been a complete roller coaster! I went from being freaked out about not being hired back with my district, to finally being ok with it and feeling like this was all in God's plan, to being hired back by my district, having 2 days to set up and do Back to School Night, and then teaching a class of 28 first graders who had gone the first three weeks of school without me. Whew!!!!! Let's just say I cried A LOT!!!!! Thankfully, I had my wonderful husband and parents there to help me set up my new classroom in 2 days flat! I love my new students but have one that is extremely challenging so it's been a long 2 weeks learning new routines in a new school with new students and new behavior situations. So needless to say a long workshop on a Saturday was not something I was excited about.
The workshop started off with a presentation on coping with the wait. We were able to get in small groups with other couples and talk about how hard the wait really is. It was nice to meet these other couples and know that we are not alone. We aren't the only ones who get upset when one of our friends announces their pregnancy. We aren't the only ones who don't like going to baby showers and birthday parties filled with babies, pregnant woman, and happy parents. We aren't the only ones who hate getting asked the question, "Do you have kids?" "Why are you adopting?" "Well, IVF worked for our friends. You should use their doctor." We aren't the only ones who look at our empty nursery and cry just longing for our new baby to be with us. And we aren't the only ones who feel jealous, heartache, angry, and sad when walking through a crowded mall, Disneyland, or even a grocery store while we notice all the pregnant women and happy moms with their babies. I was so glad to get that off my chest with people who actually understand and have heard all of the same things throughout their wait time. I was a little nervous meeting all these new people, worried that we might not have much to talk about, but it was really nice knowing Darryl and I aren't the only ones who have these feelings. Some of these thoughts and feelings are obviously ones we can't go around telling everyone because of course we are supposed to be excited for people with babies, and happy at birthday parties, and we are supposed to be perfectly comfortable answering intimate questions asked by complete strangers. We now know that all of these feelings are totally normal and that most couples adopting have gone through all of these ups and downs during their wait time.
We also talked about praying for our birth moms which Darryl and I have been doing since day 1. I like to pray for her in the morning on my way to work but my prayers often sound the same. I pray that she is having a good day, that she feels peace with the decision that she is about to make, that she will know the second she sees Darryl and me, she will know we are the parents for her child, and that God will keep her and the baby safe and healthy. Since I've been in this routine and starting to feel like I need to do more, I was very happy to see this as part of the slide show at our training!
I'm ordering mine this week and can't wait to start praying for some specifics for our birth mom knowing that this wait time is just as tough on her if not more than it is on us.
The second part of our training was called, "The Secret Struggles of Adoption". During this time we were able to hear 4 different couples' adoption stories and the joys and disappointments they had to deal with along the way. It was also nice to hear different views of people who have gone through Bethany. It definitely got me excited for the day we get to bring our baby home but it also prepared us to be guarded at the same time.
I think the best part of the training was getting to meet an awesome couple named Stephanie and Casey. We've been on the waiting list about the same time, we have a lot in common (Stephanie and I both teach first grade!) and we live very close to each other. I can't wait to hang out with our new friends, get to know them better, and be supportive of each other during this journey. All in all, our Saturday training wasn't as bad as I thought. It ended up being a really good day! :)
Prayer Requests:
1. Please continue to pray for our birth mom and the health of her and the baby (babies)
2. Pray that she is confident in her decision and that she knows without a doubt that D and I are meant to be her child's parents. (I will have many more specifics when I get my book) :) Can't wait to share them with you!
3. Pray that D and I will be able to bring home our baby soon but also that the adoption will be a smooth one.
Thank you so much!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
6 month check up!
So a few weeks ago Darryl and I were visited by our adoption social worker from Bethany. She checks in with each couple every 6 months to see how they're doing and if they have any updates for their paper work. Jamie came over right on time and started the meeting by asking how we were. We told her about our blessing party and the fun and not so fun times of our wait. She then asked us to review our paper work and wanted to know if there was anything we were thinking about changing. We told her we were comfortable with what we had originally decided but that we would continue to look at it throughout our wait. Jamie is such a sweet heart and we're so lucky to have her working with us so closely. She always tells us that we can call her any time with any questions, thoughts, or even if we're upset and just need to cry.
These last few months, there have been times where I've been a little anxious...wondering if anyone has seen our portfolio and wondering if they have us in mind or why they didn't pick us. I pray daily that God will send us our baby soon but I also pray for a smooth adoption and that our birth mom is confident with her decision. Jamie told us that the last couple of adoptions have been really complicated. I started thanking God immediately that Darryl and I were not put in that position. We would much rather have a smooth adoption and a little longer wait time then to go through an interrupted placement. (An interrupted placement means that sometime after the birth mom picked a couple, she changed her mind and the baby is either taken from the adoptive parents' home or never given to them in the first place.) This does happen once in a while and I can't imagine how hard that situation must be. I guess the only way to look at it is to trust that God knows what he's doing and there is a reason that the baby needs to stay with his/her birth mom. With that said, please continue to pray that Darryl and I will never have to experience the pain of an interrupted placement and that we are placed with a birth mom who knows without a doubt that she wants us to be the parents of her baby. :)
These last few months, there have been times where I've been a little anxious...wondering if anyone has seen our portfolio and wondering if they have us in mind or why they didn't pick us. I pray daily that God will send us our baby soon but I also pray for a smooth adoption and that our birth mom is confident with her decision. Jamie told us that the last couple of adoptions have been really complicated. I started thanking God immediately that Darryl and I were not put in that position. We would much rather have a smooth adoption and a little longer wait time then to go through an interrupted placement. (An interrupted placement means that sometime after the birth mom picked a couple, she changed her mind and the baby is either taken from the adoptive parents' home or never given to them in the first place.) This does happen once in a while and I can't imagine how hard that situation must be. I guess the only way to look at it is to trust that God knows what he's doing and there is a reason that the baby needs to stay with his/her birth mom. With that said, please continue to pray that Darryl and I will never have to experience the pain of an interrupted placement and that we are placed with a birth mom who knows without a doubt that she wants us to be the parents of her baby. :)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Blessing party!!! :)
What amazing family and friends Darryl and I have! Last Saturday our good friends George and Kristina threw us a blessing party! Now, one might ask, "What do you do at a blessing party?" Well, it was a time for our close friends and family to hear about our adoption process, ask any questions they may have, and to help us prepare for our soon to be baby. We are still on the waiting list but as mentioned before, we could get a call any day and want to be as prepared as we can. Kristina spent a lot of time putting together a theme and prepping all of the cute decorations. She went with a "Soon to BEE parents" theme and it was extremely cute! Lots of black, white, and yellow and very detailed! :) I love being friends with a party planner! Here are some pics from that night.
All in all, it was a nice night and we are so thankful to all of our friends and family who have been by our side during this journey. And again, a special thanks to George and Kristina. Their journey to have children has been similar to ours and although their family has grown they still support us and can't wait for the day we receive that call. :) Someday soon we will all be celebrating the addition to our family but until then please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for a smooth adoption with no complications and for a healthy baby that we can love to pieces. :)
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| My friend Kristina who is an amazing friend and party planner! |
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| My best friend since 9th grade, Emmy. :) |
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| Emmy's son Gavin. He's such a cutie! |
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| My sister-in-law Michelle made me this diaper doll! I love it!!!! My niece Audrey did too! She kept going up to it and saying, "Baby, baby!" Thank you Michelle! |
All in all, it was a nice night and we are so thankful to all of our friends and family who have been by our side during this journey. And again, a special thanks to George and Kristina. Their journey to have children has been similar to ours and although their family has grown they still support us and can't wait for the day we receive that call. :) Someday soon we will all be celebrating the addition to our family but until then please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for a smooth adoption with no complications and for a healthy baby that we can love to pieces. :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Yep...still waiting.
It's been a while since our last update and since I'm constantly being asked, "Have you heard anything yet?", let me explain why we haven't. :) Darryl and I chose not to know when our portfolios are looked at by birth moms. We felt that if we knew a birth mom looked at our book and didn't pick us, we would be wondering why and second guessing everything we put in our letter and portfolio. Sooo....we will not hear anything until we actually get a phone call telling us that we've been selected. As of right now, we don't know if our portfolio has been shown or not. We do know through monthly updates that Bethany has been placing about 2 babies a month. That sounds good but keep in mind there are families waiting ahead of us and we may not be a match to those birth moms placing their babies. There's so many variables that need to be in place, that this will truly be God picking the right baby for us. :)
Our adoption counselor Jamie will be visiting us on Monday for a 6 month check in. She just wants to make sure that our paperwork is all up to date and she'll probably ask if we want to change anything. She was supposed to come over today but she had a last minute appointment she and another social worker had to be at to transport a baby. She didn't sound too happy about it so I'm just praying that someone's baby isn't being taken away from them. I would rather wait a little longer and have a smooth adoption than fall in love with a baby only to have it taken back by the birth mom. I can't even imagine having to go through that.
On a happier note, I went to my nephew's birthday party a few weeks ago and had a nice talk with my brother and sister-in-law's friend named Alex. I've always seen her and said hello at other birthday parties and family events but never knew that her and her brother were adopted through Bethany! How exciting that I have someone in my life that has lived through the adoption journey but on the other side of it. Alex is very sweet and now has a little girl of her own. We are now facebook friends and I'm sure she would love to answer any questions Darryl and I may have along the way.
This weekend we will also be taking one more step in our adoption process! Our good friends Kristina and George are throwing us a blessing party. Just a small event with family and close friends to come together and pray for our adoption and also to collect some of the much needed items (car seat, bottles, blankets, etc.) if we are called with a suprise baby. A sort of "baby shower" but not really. Kristina has been in the party planning business for a while and has been so excited to get this party going. She and George recently adopted a baby boy and know how crazy it is getting a baby on short notice. They have been so supportive and can't wait for the day we receive our phone call.
Please keep us in your prayers. I really haven't been stressing about the adoption but I think the longer we have to wait the more I will wonder why we are waiting. Pray that this can all happen sooner rather than later and that we can start our new lives as parents to the newborn that was created especially for us. :)
Our adoption counselor Jamie will be visiting us on Monday for a 6 month check in. She just wants to make sure that our paperwork is all up to date and she'll probably ask if we want to change anything. She was supposed to come over today but she had a last minute appointment she and another social worker had to be at to transport a baby. She didn't sound too happy about it so I'm just praying that someone's baby isn't being taken away from them. I would rather wait a little longer and have a smooth adoption than fall in love with a baby only to have it taken back by the birth mom. I can't even imagine having to go through that.
On a happier note, I went to my nephew's birthday party a few weeks ago and had a nice talk with my brother and sister-in-law's friend named Alex. I've always seen her and said hello at other birthday parties and family events but never knew that her and her brother were adopted through Bethany! How exciting that I have someone in my life that has lived through the adoption journey but on the other side of it. Alex is very sweet and now has a little girl of her own. We are now facebook friends and I'm sure she would love to answer any questions Darryl and I may have along the way.
This weekend we will also be taking one more step in our adoption process! Our good friends Kristina and George are throwing us a blessing party. Just a small event with family and close friends to come together and pray for our adoption and also to collect some of the much needed items (car seat, bottles, blankets, etc.) if we are called with a suprise baby. A sort of "baby shower" but not really. Kristina has been in the party planning business for a while and has been so excited to get this party going. She and George recently adopted a baby boy and know how crazy it is getting a baby on short notice. They have been so supportive and can't wait for the day we receive our phone call.
Please keep us in your prayers. I really haven't been stressing about the adoption but I think the longer we have to wait the more I will wonder why we are waiting. Pray that this can all happen sooner rather than later and that we can start our new lives as parents to the newborn that was created especially for us. :)
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