Yesterday we had lunch with Claire's birth mom. We have an open adoption so we take Claire to visit her every 3 to 4 months or so. An open adoption allows Claire to get to know her birth mom and ask her questions as she grows up. She will always know that she was adopted and that she grew in her birth mommy's tummy. Our adoption agency primarily deals with open adoptions because they have been proven to be much better for the child than a closed adoption. Who wouldn't want to know where they came from and what their family history is? Claire will have all these questions answered and will grow up knowing the person who will have all the answers. We don't want them to be strangers and as Claire gets older it will be her choice on how often she wants to keep in contact with her birth mommy.
As we sat at the park yesterday having our picnic I started to realize how lucky we were to have a relationship with our birth mom. She is so easy going and lets us decide when and where our meetings will be. She loves receiving pictures and letters about Claire but never once have we felt that she is overstepping her boundaries. The other day she sent me Claire's first pictures! Her ultrasounds! When I got the text, I almost had a heart attack because I thought there may be another one on the way. But when I opened it, I realized it was my precious little girl. How sweet is was of her to send me these!
After visiting yesterday, I realized that our birth mom doesn't always feel accepted by her own family. Though she admits to making some mistakes in her life (as we all have), to us...she is an angel. I wish I could call her mom and tell her how amazing her daughter really is. She not only gave us the best present anyone could ever give us, but she made that choice knowing it would be the best thing for her baby. Right now we have no connections to her mother and at this time, she doesn't even know about Claire. I hope that when the time is right and that conversation happens, that she realizes how strong and brave her own daughter is and what a loving thing she did for a couple who couldn't have children. Thank you H for the decision you made and the little life that you gave us. xoxo